Episode 90: Honoring the Shepherd

SUMMARY
October is Pastor Appreciation Month, but most don’t know how challenging ministry life really is. Discover eye-opening stats and stories from Milo and Olivia, revealing the unseen struggles—and learn practical ways to encourage and support your spiritual leaders.

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INTRODUCTION
Taking the time to reflect on the good and hard work that has been done is often neglected. In this episode, Milo and Olivia explore reasons why we avoid reflection, some healthy questions to consider when reflecting, and a practical exercise that will contribute to your spiritual growth.

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THE CALL TO MINISTRY

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood,[c] to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, Ephesians 4: 11-13

1. LONELINESS AND ISOLATION
   65% of pastors report chronic loneliness—up from 42% in 2015. Pastors struggle to form deep friendships within their congregations due to their dual role as leader and friend. Only 22% have peer or mentor support, and 70% lack a close friend. Frequent relocations sever long-term relationships, worsening isolation.

2. CRITICISM AND REJECTION
   40% of pastors face serious conflict monthly, often over trivial issues. Criticism comes from those they lead (parishioners), those they follow (denominational leaders), and those they love (family). 78% have been forced to resign, usually due to conflict; fear of criticism stifles ministry and risks. Rejection breeds mistrust, trauma, and self-doubt, eroding confidence and relationships.

3. DEPRESSION AND MENTAL HEALTH
   Mental health struggles are widespread among pastors. 70% battle depression; 18% have contemplated self-harm. 91% experience burnout, with 18% saying they are “fried to a crisp.” 65% avoid counseling due to cost, stigma, or fear of judgment.

4. SELF DOUBT AND IMPOSTER SYNDROME
   Pastors often feel unworthy or fraudulent despite competence. Similar to general population (70%) but intensified by ministry pressures. Unrealistic expectations, theological insecurity, and perfectionism drive burnout and low self-worth.

5. FAMILY AND MARRIAGE STRUGGLES
   Ministry demands strain family relationships. 77% feel their marriage is poor; 41% have anger issues at home. 80% say ministry hurts family life; 33% call it hazardous. Most work 55–75 hours weekly, missing family time and events.

6. MORAL FAILURE AND SEXUAL STRUGGLES
   Temptation and lack of accountability remain serious issues. 50% admit to viewing pornography. 37% report inappropriate behavior. Half lack a trusted group or mentor to hold them accountable. Guilt and secrecy foster spiritual and emotional distress.

7. FINANCIAL STRESS
   Pastors face significant financial insecurity. 70% feel underpaid; many spouses say income is insufficient. Some rely on food stamps; retirement savings are minimal. Many face retirement without savings or adequate insurance.

8. SUBSTANCE ABUSE
   94% see addiction as a major issue in their congregation, but only 12.5% have any formal training to address this issue. Some pastors battle addiction privately, silenced by stigma.

9. SECONDARY TRAMA AND COMPASSION FATIGUE
   Constant exposure to suffering takes a toll. Walking with grieving congregants leads to emotional exhaustion. Lack of rest and constant availability cause compassion fatigue and burnout.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

1. Eagerly Demonstrate Respect by speaking well of them to others and writing them a note regarding the impact they have had on you
   We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and esteem them very highly in love because of their work - 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13
   
   We are called to recognize and esteem our pastors - not just with words, but through loving respect. Appreciation is shown when the church supports the pastors leadership rather than criticizing it.
   

2. Prayerfully Discern ways to support your minister by paying attention to the concerns they carry
   Remember your leaders, those who spoke the word of God to you... Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account... Pray for us. Hebrews 13:7, 17–18
   
   Pastors carry a heavy spiritual burden. The church shows appreciation by praying for them faithfully and following their leadership with humility, recognizing the weight of their calling.
   

3. Generously SHARE God’s blessing in your life and connect it to the investment they are making in your spiritual growth.
   Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches. And let us not grow weary of doing good… Galatians 6:6–9
   
   We’re told to share “all good things” — spiritual encouragement, acts of kindness, gratitude — with those who teach us. Doing so refreshes their soul and strengthens them to keep serving faithfully.

CONTACT US at hello@thisresilientsoul.com. We are always looking for ways to deepen the quality and expand the impact of this podcast. So if you have some ideas on how we can do that we welcome your input.

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